HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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