I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
