How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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