Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
vagina is talking i cant
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize