If i come over, it means nothing
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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