I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's rum buckets o'clock
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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