i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
