well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
