You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize