I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
