Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
