Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize