I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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