Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
