I can feel you judging me through the phone.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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