dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
