It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
