Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
