I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize