Christians are straight up FREAKS
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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