I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
