Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
