just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
