You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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