Betty ford says i'm here all night
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
