im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
