so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
