I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
