I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
