remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
