Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
