Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
