you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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