Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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