so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
me + whiskey = a bad person
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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