Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
