you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
