Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
