There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
