I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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