So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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