I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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