you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
