If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
