is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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