STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
