We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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