it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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