I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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