she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
