Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
