You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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