Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
