take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I smell like Dick and happiness
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
