why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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