i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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