omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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