Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize