He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
