also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
