9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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